The Advent of Scientism

Since traditional religion is inherently false, being based on ideas without (or in contradiction to) evidence; and since the scientific method is the only thing keeping us from the Dark Ages; and since current religious practices (such as circumcision, spanking, creation pseudoscience, abstinence "education", forced "marriage", gross abuse of women, Islamic jihad, stealth Crusades, etc etc) are clearly contrary to human progress and civilization itself: therefore I pronounce judgment on traditional religion, and set myself to establish a new path for all people. This path I call Scientism.